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Selasa, 19 September 2017

Naudzubillah, Dosa Takhbib, Sebabkan Wanita Benci dengan Suaminya dan Minta Cerai. Apa itu?

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Astagfirullah, ternyata ini salah satu dosa besar yang jarang diketahui kaum muslim.

Jangan sampai anda terjebak tipu daya setan hingga melakukan dosa Takhbib.

Apa itu dosa Takhbib?



Karena dosa ini sejuta dampak buruk bisa terjadi baik kepada wanita dan laki-lakinya yang menggiring kepada perzinahan.

Ini dilakukan oleh pria dan wanita, berawal dari komunikasi sederhana, dilanjut dengan saling curhat, hingga tertanam cinta karena syahwat.

Lebih parah lagi, ketika kejadian itu dialami oleh mereka yang telah berkeluarga.

Karena interaksi lawan jenis yang tidak halal, Allah cabut rasa cintanya terhadap keluarganya, digantikan dengan kehadiran orang baru dalam hatinya.

Disadari maupun tidak, sejatinya itu merupakan hukuman bagi orang yang telah bisa menikmati segala yang haram, Allah hilangkan dari dirinya untuk bisa menikmati sesuatu yang halal.

Dosa Takhbib

Diantara dosa besar yang mungkin jarang diketahui oleh kaum muslimin adalah dosa takhbib. Menjadi penyebab percerian dan kerusakan rumah tangga. Karena kehadirannya, membuat seorang wanita menjadi benci suaminya dan meminta untuk berpisah dari suaminya.

Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam dalam banyak hadis, memberikan ancaman keras untuk pelanggaran semacam ini. Diantaranya,

1. Dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda,

لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ خَبَّبَ امرَأَةً عَلَى زَوجِهَا

”Bukan bagian dariku seseorang yang melakukan takhbib terhadap seorang wanita, sehingga dia melawan suaminya.” (HR. Abu Daud 2175 dan dishahihkan al-Albani)

2. Juga dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda,

وَمَنْ أَفْسَدَ امْرَأَةً عَلَى زَوْجِهَا فَلَيْسَ مِنَّا

”Siapa yang merusak hubungan seorang wanita dengan suaminya maka dia bukan bagian dariku.” (HR. Ahmad 9157 dan dishahihkan Syuaib al-Arnauth).

Dalam penjelasannya tentang bahaya cinta buta, Ibnul Qoyim menjelaskan tentang dosa takhbib,
وقد لعن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من فعل ذلك ، وتبرأ منه ، وهو من أكبر الكبائر ، وإذا كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قد نهى أن يخطب الرجل على خطبة أخيه وأن يستام على سومه : فكيف بمن يسعى بالتفريق بينه وبين امرأته وأمته حتى يتصل بهما

Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam telah melaknat orang yang melakukan takhbib, dan beliau berlepas diri dari pelakunya. Takhbib termasuk salah satu dosa besar. Karena ketika Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam melarang seseorang untuk meminang wanita yang telah dilamar oleh lelaki lain, dan melarang seseorang menawar barang yang sedang ditawar orang lain, maka bagaimana lagi dengan orang yang berusaha memisahkan antara seorang suami dengan istrinya atau budaknya, sehingga dia bisa menjalin hubungan dengannya. (al-Jawab al-Kafi, hlm. 154).

Bahkan, karena besarnya dosa takhbib, Syaikhul Islam melarang menjadi makmum di belakang imam yang melakukan takhbib, sehingga bisa menikahi wanita tersebut. (Majmu’ Fatawa, 23/363).

Makna Takbib

Dalam Syarah Sunan Abu Daud Adzim Abadi (w. 1329 H) menjelaskan, takhbib secara bahasa artinya menipu dan merusak. Dengan menyebut-nyebut kejelekan suami di hadapan istrinya atau kebaikan lelaki lain di depan wanita itu. (Aunul Ma’bud, 6/159).

Di bagian lain, beliau juga menyebutkan,

مَنْ خَبَّب زوجة امرئ أي خدعها وأفسدها أو حسن إليها الطلاق ليتزوجها أو يزوجها لغيره أو غير ذلك

‘Siapa yang melakukan takhbib terhadap istri seseorang’ maknanya adalah siapa yang menipu wanita itu, merusak keluarganya atau memotivasinya agar cerai dengan suaminya, agar dia bisa menikah dengannya atau menikah dengan lelaki lain atau cara yang lainnya. (Aunul Ma’bud, 14/52).

Ad-Dzahabi mendefinisikan takhbib,

إفساد قلب المرأة على زوجها

”Merusak hati wanita terhadap suaminya.” (al-Kabair, hal. 209).

Dalam Fatwa Islam, usaha memisahkan wanita dari suaminya, tidak hanya dalam bentuk memotivasi si wanita untuk menuntut cerai dari suaminya. Yang juga termasuk takhbib adalah ketika seseorang memberikan perhatian, empati, menjadi teman curhat terhadap wanita yang sedang ada masalah dengan keluarganya.

وإفساد الزوجة على زوجها ليس فقط بأن تطلب منها الطلاق ، بل إن محاولة ملامسة العواطف والمشاعر ، والتسبب في تعليقها بك أعظم إفساد ، وأشنع مسعى يمكن أن يسعى به بين الناس .

”Merusak hubungan istri dengan suaminya, tidak hanya dalam bentuk memotivasi dia untuk menggugat cerai. Bahkan semata upaya memberikan empati, belas kasihan, berbagi rasa, dan segala sebab yang membuat si wanita menjadi jatuh cinta kepadamu, merupakan bentuk merusak (keluarga) yang serius, dan usaha paling licik yang mungkin bisa dilakukan seseorang.” (Fatwa Islam, no. 84849)

Memahami hal ini, berhati-hatilah dalam bergaul dengan lawan jenis siapapun dia.

Bisa jadi pada awalnya seseorang memiliki niat baik, niat saling menolong, niat merasa kasihan, perlu ada teman untuk berbagi rasa.

Kan gak ada masalah kalo cuma jadi teman curhat, yang penting gak ada perasaan apa-apa. Kita kan niatnya baik, saling mengingatkan dan menasehati.

Saya merasa dekat dengan Allah semenjak kenal dia, kita saling mengingatkan untuk tahajud, untuk puasa sunah, saya menjadi rajin ibadah karena nasehatnya, hatiku merasa nyaman dan tentram bersamanya, semoga dia menjadi pasanganku di surga…, dan seabreg khayalan kasmaran lainnya.

Ibnul Jauzi menukil nasehat dari Al-Hasan bin Sholeh yang mengatakan,

إن الشيطان ليفتح للعبد تسعة وتسعين بابا من الخير يريد به بابا من الشر

“Sesungguhnya setan membukan 99 pintu kebaikan, untuk menjerumuskan orang ke dalam satu pintu keburukan.” (Talbis Iblis, hlm. 51).

Waspada bagi para lelaki, jangan sampai menerima curhat wanita tentang keluarganya. Bisa jadi ini langkah pembuka Iblis untuk semakin menjerumuskan anda. Terkecuali jika anda seorang ulama,
‘Siapa yang melakukan takhbib terhadap istri seseorang’ maknanya adalah siapa yang menipu wanita itu, merusak keluarganya atau memotivasinya agar cerai dengan suaminya, agar dia bisa menikah dengannya atau menikah dengan lelaki lain atau cara yang lainnya. (Aunul Ma’bud, 14/52).

Ad-Dzahabi mendefinisikan takhbib,

إفساد قلب المرأة على زوجها

”Merusak hati wanita terhadap suaminya.” (al-Kabair, hal. 209).

Dalam Fatwa Islam, usaha memisahkan wanita dari suaminya, tidak hanya dalam bentuk memotivasi si wanita untuk menuntut cerai dari suaminya. Yang juga termasuk takhbib adalah ketika seseorang memberikan perhatian, empati, menjadi teman curhat terhadap wanita yang sedang ada masalah dengan keluarganya.

وإفساد الزوجة على زوجها ليس فقط بأن تطلب منها الطلاق ، بل إن محاولة ملامسة العواطف والمشاعر ، والتسبب في تعليقها بك أعظم إفساد ، وأشنع مسعى يمكن أن يسعى به بين الناس .

”Merusak hubungan istri dengan suaminya, tidak hanya dalam bentuk memotivasi dia untuk menggugat cerai. Bahkan semata upaya memberikan empati, belas kasihan, berbagi rasa, dan segala sebab yang membuat si wanita menjadi jatuh cinta kepadamu, merupakan bentuk merusak (keluarga) yang serius, dan usaha paling licik yang mungkin bisa dilakukan seseorang.” (Fatwa Islam, no. 84849)

Memahami hal ini, berhati-hatilah dalam bergaul dengan lawan jenis siapapun dia.

Bisa jadi pada awalnya seseorang memiliki niat baik, niat saling menolong, niat merasa kasihan, perlu ada teman untuk berbagi rasa.

Kan gak ada masalah kalo cuma jadi teman curhat, yang penting gak ada perasaan apa-apa. Kita kan niatnya baik, saling mengingatkan dan menasehati.

Saya merasa dekat dengan Allah semenjak kenal dia, kita saling mengingatkan untuk tahajud, untuk puasa sunah, saya menjadi rajin ibadah karena nasehatnya, hatiku merasa nyaman dan tentram bersamanya, semoga dia menjadi pasanganku di surga…, dan seabreg khayalan kasmaran lainnya.

Ibnul Jauzi menukil nasehat dari Al-Hasan bin Sholeh yang mengatakan,

إن الشيطان ليفتح للعبد تسعة وتسعين بابا من الخير يريد به بابا من الشر

“Sesungguhnya setan membukan 99 pintu kebaikan, untuk menjerumuskan orang ke dalam satu pintu keburukan.” (Talbis Iblis, hlm. 51).

Waspada bagi para lelaki, jangan sampai menerima curhat wanita tentang keluarganya. Bisa jadi ini langkah pembuka Iblis untuk semakin menjerumuskan anda. Terkecuali jika anda seorang ulama, tokoh agama, yang berhak memberikan fatwa dengan ilmunya. Anda bisa menjelaskan halal-haram satu masalah.

Semoga Allah, menyelamatkan kita dari bahaya besar lingkungan yang kurang memperhatikan adab pergaulan.

Wallahu a’lam


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